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Mental and
emotional stresses are the main causes of the degenerative diseases
that lead to premature aging. Tension, anxiety, worry and
depression will age you before your time, so will negative emotions
such as hate, envy and jealousy as these can prey on your mind and
obliterate any positive thoughts.
Life is filled
with tension but a certain amount of stress is natural and cannot
be avoided. It can even be beneficial as it can spur you on to
achieve things you'd never think were possible, and you can make it
work for you if it is counterbalanced by sufficient rest and
relaxation. That is the important thing being able to effectively
put your body and mind at rest to recuperate both physical and
mental forces. The problem is that very few people can do it, and
this is what this chapter is all about. I'm not going to dwell on
the woeful side of stress as we all know its negative results, but
I'm putting forward various ways and means for self help.
Who suffers from
stress? Anybody and everybody, we all have different levels of
tolerance, but no matter to what degree, stress is present in all
lives. Routine jobs can be as stressful as high powered ones, and
the bored housewife is equally as susceptible as the business
tycoon. It has a lot to do with our society being success
orientated, and the constant reminders by the media about the
achievement of others. It is often the exposure to the facts of
what others are achieving that makes one feel inadequate. Before
sophisticated communications revealed how the rest of the world
lived, most people were reasonably contented in their slot. Now no
more, the pressure is on.
Women are subject
to more psychological strain than ever before. Ironically, fighting
for equal rights has produced a whole new set of pressures, which
many of us feel we would be better without. Women have got
themselves in the position of trying to be all things to all
people. We are in constant conflict between the old traditions and
what are basically nature and the cultural preaching of ardent
feminists. This in itself is a tremendous stress, and there is no
way one can say what is right and what is wrong. It is entirely up
to you to work out the balance, to decide where your personality
and priorities stand. Personally, I feel it is terribly wrong for a
woman who is perfectly happy being a wife and mother to be made to
feel inadequate and unfulfilled by not accomplishing something on
her own. In fact, it is nonsense that she should feel it necessary.
Divided loyalties can cause incredible stress and result in divided
families. Such a situation, however, does force you to look closely
at your personality and desires, to make yourself aware of how you
function as an individual and not in the shadow or context of
others. What do you want out of life? What are you happiest doing?
What are you doing for yourself? Then balance these with your
obligations within relationships. The secret of alleviating stress
is to balance your needs with those of others nearest and dearest
to you, and to balance the liberated woman with the passive
one.
Stress can be
productive. A moderate amount of it can improve efficiency, urge
you on to creation, and force you into action. The plus things are
that the mind becomes clear, reflexes are quicker, energy increases
and speech can become more fluent. All these are assets, and some
people need stress to function at all. Only you can establish your
optimum stress level and you can only do this through experience.
You can tell through observation what really gets you going and
what makes you fall apart. Once beyond the peak, stress is
destructive you will feel agitated, tense, jumpy and be unable to
think or act clearly. On the other hand, if stress falls below a
certain level you will feel frustrated, bored, unfulfilled and void
of energy. That is also a form of stress. The ideal is a level at
which you feel your happiest, function to capacity and end the day
feeling fulfilled at what you have achieved. Acquiring this level
is not automatic; it demands realistic observation, assessment and
readjustment. You've probably never looked at stress this way
before, but if you do, you can use it to your advantage. Learn to
distinguish between positive and negative stresses and work out the
optimum balance for you.
What happens in
your body during a stress situation? Practically every metabolic
function is affected as the original animal fight or flight
syndrome is instinctively put into action. It is our response to
danger, though today's dangers stem more from mental and emotional
sources than from actual physical threat. The response is totally
automatic - the temperature drops and sweating increases, the heart
beat rises by as much as one hundred per cent in order to increase
blood supply to the muscles; the muscles tense and lactic acid is
released into the blood stream which causes anxiety to increase;
cholesterol is produced by the liver for fuel; the adrenal glands
release hormones; breathing becomes faster and shallower, sugar is
released from the liver into the bloodstream for energy, so is the
subcutaneous fat: digestion closes down, the salivary glands stop
and the mouth becomes dry. All this happens very quickly and
studies show that these changes occur whenever the body is
threatened regardless of the nature of the threat, be it physical
or emotional. Danger is a primitive instinct and the body
immediately becomes alert. If the body can physically let go at
this point, it will quickly return to a calm relaxed normal state,
but if not - which is usually the case with emotional stress - the
body remains in a state of partial tension with all the
consequential reactions and this is when the trouble starts. The
tension that results from stress must subside, if not
automatically, by training the body and mind to relax and let go.
Otherwise, a continued state of arousal quickly leads to many
disorders, initially manifested in headaches, digestive problems,
general aches and pains.
Stress can turn
off sexual desire and if you are ultra competitive in your work,
this can almost negate your female sexuality and you'll find it
difficult for both mind and body to submit to sexual
responsiveness.
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